


Maybe One Day

by The_Jade_Goblin



Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Malec, also raphael is still alive, kinda hopeful ending?, max taking care of his papa, mention of rafael, post-alec death, super sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-20
Updated: 2016-06-20
Packaged: 2018-07-16 04:50:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7253152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Jade_Goblin/pseuds/The_Jade_Goblin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You were married to THE Alec Lightwood?”</p><p>Max didn't miss the way his father's eyes glazed over in sadness, nor the way his smile seemed forced, even as he stood proud and tall, and told the curious Seelie about Alec.</p><p>Magnus wasn't the father Max remembered anymore, not the happy and sarcastic and always mildly amused father he used to have. Maybe it was time to fix that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Maybe One Day

“You were _married_ to _The_ Alec Lightwood?”

It was a question Magnus heard often these days. And Magnus felt no small amount of pride for his Alexander whenever he heard it, and no small amount of sadness too. Ironic that Alec had not lived to see the question “You’re _married_ to _Magnus Bane_?” change to this. But Alec was a legend now, especially among the young Shadowhunters of the age, they all were. Stories of Clarissa Fairchild and her friends spread like old bedtime stories, children of the Downworld and Nephilim alike growing up on the legend of these Shadowhunters. And when Magnus found himself attached to the tale, it was as the warlock friend and expert magical advisor, husband to Alec Lightwood and High Warlock of Brooklyn. It amused him that his title came second to his association with Alec all those years ago.

He rolled his eyes at the young Seelie in front of him, and nodded.

“You’re not lying are you? Are you lying? You can’t have been married to Alec Lightwood,” the young girl’s eyes were wide, desperate to believe she was standing in front of someone who had been there when the legends were.

Sighing minutely, Magnus reached into his pocket and took out his wallet, flipping it open to show the Seelie a photo. It had been taken on their wedding day. There the two men were dressed in black and gold, kissing at the altar. The Seelie squealed when she saw the photo, covering her mouth in shock and joy.

“What was he like?” she squeaked.

Magnus smiled as he returned his wallet to his pocket.

“My Alexander was…” he began. “Extraordinary. Every bit the man of legend you’ve heard. He was the most sincere and caring man I’ve ever met. He was amazing, and he never ceased to amaze me, even until his death.”

The Seelie was hanging off his every word, eyes wide with wonder. The party in the loft was starting to die down, being as early in the morning as it was already, and most of the vampires had gone home. Apparently Raphael had grown tired of people asking him about the legendary Simon Lewis. Magnus couldn’t blame him, Simon had been a sore point for Raphael for some many years now. He barely referred to him by his name anymore, just as ‘the fledgling’. It had been a tragic loss, just as Alec had been, but Magnus had developed thicker skin than Raphael over the years.

He continued to tell the Seelie stories of Alec, anything exciting he could remember that he thought she would like, and he watched in amusement as he gathered a little crowd on young Downworlders eager to hear the tale. Eventually he had to bid them farewell as the party came to a close, and he sat at the bar as his guests filed out of his door just after dawn.

“I heard you talking about dad to them,”

Out the corner of his eye he spotted Max, who came to sit beside him at the bar.

“You still love him. Even after all these years, you still…”

“I will always love Alexander.” Magnus murmured, staring down at his nails. “When you fall in love Max you’ll understand. True love never dies.”      

Max nodded solemnly. “It’s just, I’ve been wondering…”

“Yes my little blueberry? What is it?” Magnus asked.

Max shook his head at the ancient nickname, and continued.

“I’ve been wondering if you should re-marry.” He said slowly. “You’ve been alone for a long time papa…and I don’t want to see you so unhappy anymore. Dad wouldn’t like it, Rafael neither.”

“Oh Max,” Magnus sighed. “No one could ever replace your father. But it is refreshing to know I’ll have your blessing should I decide to find love again. Good parenting, I’ve found, is achieved when the child is happy. Happy children, happy family. Would you be happy if I found someone else?”

“I would. If you were happy that is,” Max said. “You’ve had a hard life papa, you’ve been through a lot, you deserve any happiness you can find.”

“Thank you blueberry,” Magnus smiled, reaching out to pet Max’s hair, despite him being a little taller than him. “I promise that if I find someone that speaks to my heart, I’ll go for it. Okay?”

Max nodded. He went to bed not long after that, leaving Magnus to his thoughts.        

 

 

  

“Good morning my darling,” Magnus murmured, glancing over at the headstone he stood in front of in the cemetery.

It was early in the morning, the morning fog still lingered on the ground, but Magnus settled down next to the gravestone, setting lilacs down beside it.

“You always said roses were overrated,” Magnus smiled. “So I brought you these.”

His gaze moved to the headstone next to Alec’s, and he placed another bunch of flowers next to it – daises this time.

“And I didn’t forget about you Rafe, I brought you your favourites.” He said. “Max would have come too, but he went to a Clave meeting at the last moment – said he didn’t want to bother me while I was visiting you two. I know you’d agree with him, you both always said I work too hard, so I let him take my place.”

Magnus sighed, running a hand through his hair and willing himself not to cry. You’d think he’d be out of tears by now, but he didn’t think he ever would be when it came to these two. Max was the only proof he had that his little family, his wonderful life, his darling Alexander, even existed in the first place and wasn’t just a fantastical dream.

“This year it’ll be 276 years since I lost you my darling, and 240 since you left us Rafe.” He sighed. “That went by quicker than I expected. It seems like only yesterday we were still a family, it’s still so strange waking up alone, with only myself in the house. Max visits of course, but I can’t keep him in the house forever, a warlock has to stretch his wings in the world after all.”

He bit his lip, playing nervously with his sleeve. The names on the stones stared back at him; Rafael Lightwood-Bane, and Alexander Lightwood-Bane. Two of the most important people in his long life. He wished they could speak back.

“Max is worried about me. Well, he always is, but these days it’s a lot worse. He’s moved back in temporarily, I think he worries too much to be perfectly honest, but he suggested that I…I don’t know, try dating again? I don’t know…I’m not sure if I can…”

If he was honest with himself, the idea of dating again made him feel guilty. He promised Alexander he’d love him forever – and that was true, but if he found love again with someone else, he was essentially breaking that promise.

“I don’t know what to do Alexander…” he murmured. “I miss you…so much…I don’t think I can look at anyone like I looked at you. Maybe one day, but it won’t be the same. Max wants me to be happy but I don’t think I can be. I haven’t been happy since the day I lost you, I can’t imagine that ever changing.”

He shook his head. “He’s trying to set me up with people, they’ve mostly failed because I’m just not interested, but maybe I should make the effort. I don’t know…it’s been long enough…maybe there is love after death…”

In his heart, he wanted to love again, and to be loved again, he just wasn’t sure if he could go through that pain again, or ever fully love someone like he loved Alec. Alec had been his soulmate, his one true love, no one would ever replace him or come close to that. But maybe he should try like Max wanted.    

“I know what you’d say Alec,” Magnus smirked. “You’d want me to move on. Well easy for you to say you’re dead, you don’t know how hard it is to live without you.”

It was amazing he could utter that sentence without bursting into tears – truth be told, it had taken him a few decades to be able to.

“One of the Fair Folk came to see me last week, woman named Cherry. She came to me about some potion or other to cure her brother from an illness, she was distraught when she arrived, but she came back to thank me. She asked me to dinner through a fire message last night, but I’m not sure what to tell her. That’s probably why I came here, to see what you two think.”

Magnus sighed, rubbing his face with the palm of his hand. “I want to see her again, but I’m not sure if I’m just sick of being lonely or not. I wouldn’t want to use the poor woman. She seems nice enough though…oh I don’t know. No one can ever take your place Alec in my heart you know that, but I have a little room left I think…what should I do?”

The wind picked up then, a gentle breeze that made some of the fallen leaves lift off the ground in the current. One brushed passed Magnus’ cheek, and he smiled softly.

“Of course you’d say that.” He murmured. “Maybe you’re right, maybe I should try again.”

He stood up, dusted his clothes off, and smiled down at the headstones, blowing Alec’s a kiss.

“I’ll see you later my darlings, I should figure out what to wear to this dinner. Wish me luck,”

His heart felt lighter as he left the cemetery that morning, like some weight had been lifted off his conscious. Max was ecstatic that Magnus accepted Cherry’s invitation, and even offered to vacate the loft for the night, just in case. The offer made him roll his eyes, and as he was getting ready for dinner, he spied his wedding ring shimmering on his finger. It hadn’t come off in centuries, and he lifted it up to inspect it.

He ran his finger over the words engraved on the golden band. _Forever faithful, forever yours. Aku cinta kamu._ And willed himself not to cry. It had been years since he looked at the ring properly, but now he bit his lip, wondering if it was time to take it off. Alec would always be part of him, he would not soon forget his Shadowhunter, but that part of his life was over, it was history now. It was time to start a new chapter.

He looked up at the mirror, and almost jumped out of his skin when he saw Alec standing behind him. He whirled around, but saw nothing. He glanced back at the mirror, and he was gone.

“Alec…” he murmured.

He looked back down at the ring, his fingers twisting it to pull it off, but stopping at the last moment. He gnawed at his bottom lip.

“Not yet,” he whispered.

One day he’d be ready to remove the ring. One day he’d have the strength to put it away. But today was not that day. His mind made up, he steeled himself and left the apartment. He had a date, and it wouldn’t do to be late.


End file.
